we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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