she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
