ugly people sure do ruin things
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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