I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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