Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
