My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's like iHOP with fire
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize