If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
