i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
