I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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