i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
