she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
