she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
