I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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