dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You took a bar mat shot.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
