have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize