He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
