I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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