Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
