Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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