You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
