i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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