Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize