i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
