At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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