Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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