It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my shit smells like andre
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize