I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
