I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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