Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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