Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
