PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
