I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
