I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
