DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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