Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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