He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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