so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
