I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
