32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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