yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize