Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
