Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
