I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
