It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
