yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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