yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
