Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize