Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
