dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just cut my nipple shaving
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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