positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
