Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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