Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
