I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
