I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize