I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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