how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
false alarm, still single
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
