I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
