Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
