so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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