Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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