out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
