My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So. Much. Porn.
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