you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
