Swine flu is the new snow day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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