i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
