so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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